It’s been quiet on this blog for many, many reasons, ranging from major life changes to a whole lot of self-doubt. Last year, I revived and revamped my blog as I realized there were four major topics that I want to write about: The Inner Life, Life in Simplicity, Life in Community, and Life in Creation. Although I’ve divided my blog into four categories, the more I reflect on each different aspect in my own life, the more I see how integrated they all are. Now I’m back with a teensy bit more courage and a story I’d like to share in the next four or so posts.
The beginning of the journey I didn’t know I was on
In 2014, I completed my undergraduate thesis where I studied how ten girl friends of mine acquired, accumulated, and stored their material possessions in their bedrooms. One major finding was that each respondent had so many things that they needed to buy new storage units or bins or reuse cardboard boxes, paper bags, or anything that they could put stuff in or use to help organize their rooms. This and other findings I could see in my own bedroom as well, and it led me not just to declutter, but to reexamine how and why I acquired and accumulated things, which would eventually end up in our landfills. This brought in the desire to live more simply than I had been.
Turns out, “Creation Care”
Around October the following year, Pastor Ian de Ocampo introduced me to the term “Creation Care” and how it is actually part of God’s mission of reconciling all things to Himself. On a personal level, I continued to try shopping less and I had also begun bringing around reusables to reduce the waste I produce. I also attended a few talks on zero-waste hosted by MUNI, a great local movement on mindful living. As an interior designer, I jumped at the idea of integrating Creation Care into my profession so I looked for courses on sustainable design. I went as far as applying for a master’s program in Singapore, but I didn’t get in.
Learning more about Creation Care itself was quite intimidating, especially with my long-running insecurity when it comes to reading, truly understanding something, and bridging it to real-life application (among other things). I had so many questions, but instead of being driven to learn more, fear pushed me in the opposite direction.
I think the greatest fear I had starting on this journey was shame. I had certain expectations of what a Creation Care advocate looks like. A Creation Care advocate must know [expected knowledge here]. A Creation Care advocate should [expected life change here]. A Creation Care advocate will only be effective with [expected background here]. And according to my own expectations, I was failing. This crippled me for a good portion of the first five years of this journey.
A shift in perspective
I’m currently in 1 Samuel on my Bible reading plan and I came across one of the more popular Bible stories shared in Sunday school: David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17). Goliath was a 6′-9″-tall Philistine, a “man of war,” who challenged the Israelites to have one of their men come up against him in battle. The losing nation represented in combat would become the servants of the other. All the Israelites were “dismayed and greatly afraid.” Well, all except David, the youngest among his brothers whose main chore was to tend to the family’s sheep. This included having to fend off lions and bears to protect the flock of sheep. Though he had no military experience at this point, David was confident that he would be able to defeat Goliath because of how the LORD would “deliver him from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear.” To cut the long story short, David does end up defeating Goliath with just his sling and five stones.
When I was a kid, I saw this as the typical underdog story where the little guy suddenly gets the skills he needs at the most crucial point of the story, just in time to defeat the giant. But re-reading it again now, I see that was not the case. God didn’t magically make David grow a few extra feet or instantly skilled with a sword and armor he had never used. All David had at that point were his experience as a shepherd, which wasn’t as glamorous or powerful-looking as that of soldiers’ and, ultimately, his confidence in the LORD’s faithfulness.
For the longest time, I always looked at what skills, knowledge, experience, and degrees I lacked, thinking I would never be good enough for this Creation Care journey. But this account in the Bible has encouraged me to recognize what God has given me to steward and to be faithful with those things, even in the smallest, most mundane tasks. This new perspective is helping me move past my fear of shame and failure, change my expectations, and gain more courage to simply do what I can do at this point in my life.
A milestone
The first five years of this journey mostly consisted of sanctifying circumstances, where my involvement in Creation Care seemed to be a long way off. But in the last three weeks, I was able to co-facilitate a Creation Care workshop with Pastor Ian and Jas Kwong at GCF South Metro, meet Pastor Dave Bookless and hear him preach on Creation Care, and meet other Creation Care missionaries and practitioners from other nations. I never thought all of this would happen so soon!
There is a lot to unpack, so stay tuned for my next few posts, where I will share some reflections from these recent events.
faith-stretching 